Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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