Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
