So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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