I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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