Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
