his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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