my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
