Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize