look no pants
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Found your dick twin last night
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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