This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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