I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
