She is in my trunk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
