i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
