dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
