Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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