yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
