The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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