i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
