I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
