Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
