Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
