I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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