Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
