Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
