the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
