yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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