i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
