Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
