I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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