I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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