I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
