I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
