I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize