I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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