People with herpes should wear stickers.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize