he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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