It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
