No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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