Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
