Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
