Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize