Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
