I met the friendliest cop last night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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