this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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