Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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