so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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