Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize