I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
