dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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