Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
