so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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