just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
