If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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