Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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